Lovers, Liars, and Lunatics
by mmmh-Hot-Sauce
Summary: Shane, Mark, and Alice are about to graduate from Berkeley University with majors in cheating, lying, and scheming. But there latest scheme doesn't go as planned when they get busted by the most unlikely person on campus.
1. Worm on the hook

TITLE: Lovers, Liars, and Lunatics.

AUTHOR: mmmh-Hot-Sauce

RATING: R ... May become NC-17 later

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, well, maybe one or two, but as for the rest of them, nope.

SPOILERS: Completely AU

SUMMARY: Shane, Mark, and Alice are about to graduate from Berkeley University with majors in lying, cheating and scheming. But there latest scheme doesn't go as planned when they get busted by the most unlikely person on campus.

FEEDBACK: I would be grateful for any and all comments. This is my very first 'L Word' Fanfic

Note: Shane's thoughts are in black/italics.

"Yes, hi, this is Aaron Stevens," came a husky female voice as she spoke over the telephone. "I'm calling from Non-bottled Wine Beverage Monthly; a new publication. I was just calling to inform you..." she paused for a second to think of what next to say. "uhh.. to inform you that your product has been selected as the best boxed wine on the market."

She smiled broadly as the person on the other line started to talk, "Yes, that's right! So all of us here at the magazine thought...you should go ahead and send over a fuckin' shitload of it."

She waited a moment again to let the other person speak before resuming her flow of speech. "Oh, we love it. It's so good. What do we like?"

She turned in her chair to look at her friend, her perfectly sculptured eyebrow raised high in questioning.

"Merlot," Her friend whispered back, a devilish smirk on his face as he and a third party paid close attention to the conversation taking place.

"We love the merlot." She dead panned, her voice husky and low. "You're the best, Cindy. You always have been. Thank you."

"How was that?" She asked as she hung up the phone, completely spinning her chair around to face her friends.

"Shane, that was freaking nuts," the boy said as he smiled at his friend, all the while clapping his hands together in approval.

"Mark, what do you expect? Shane's all about the scam," said the other occupant in the room, her smirk just as wide as the other two.

"And like you're not, Alice?" Shane retorted, her right eyebrow raised high in rebuttal.

888

"Alright, guys." Mark cheered, pumping up his friends. "We've done this before. Let's do it again." He ran through the specifically organized plan once more before setting a time to meet back at their place of residence. "Okay, let's meet back here in twenty minutes.

_**Simple, easy, by the book. Berkeley University. This was our territory...and here we were. Seventy-two days away from a diploma...that would open doors for the rest of our lives. We're one step closer to the American dream. That is … after today's scam.**_

Just as Mark had planned out, the scam was in full effect. Sitting backwards atop a motorbike in a beige jumpsuit, a florescent orange vest, with a video camera attached to her hand was Shane. In front of her, steering the bike, sat Mark, both of them watching as the varsity track team stretched.

As soon as the team got into position to start running their mini marathon, Mark started up the bike and Shane turned on the camera, zooming the lens on the athletic bodies of the young women.

"Hey there! We're from Mission Sports!" She yelled out to the running women as the bike drove alongside them. "Everybody smile for the camera!"

She zoomed the camera on the heaving chests of the already perspiring young women, "It's gonna be on tonight at eight. Everybody smile!"

"Who are you?" one of the girls hollered out.

"Mission Sports." Shane said again, scanning the camera from one girl to the next. It's gonna be on the Bureau Sports Channel. A twenty-four hour-a-day sports coverage."

Leaning back against Mark, so that she could whisper into the man's ear, "Slow down. Slow down!"

888

As Mark and Shane busied themselves with the track team, Alice set her sight on an Airborne Express truck heading towards the college admissions office. The back of the truck loaded with test booklets that could determine the deciding factor of all three students graduating status.

Stealthily skating towards the truck on a borrowed skateboard, she waited for the van to slow down at a speed bump before pulling out a small, hand held, sawzall. With the small tool, she easily broke open the latch holding the door closed. Sliding the door open just enough to slide her body in, she tossed the sawzall in then followed suit, bringing the door down behind her.

Gaining her baring's, she placed the implement back into her backpack before searching the boxes stacked around the bed of the truck for the booklets Mark had requested.

888

"You guys wanna be on TV?" Shane called back out to the girls running behind the motorbike. "Come on, say hello to Mom!"

"We're on 'em," Mark shouted out to Shane as he kept one eye on the advancing Airborne Express truck. "We're on 'em."

"Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful." Shane continued to say to the women running, encouraging them to smile into the camera. "You're great. You look good. Big strides. Smile for the camera."

"We need to speed up a little," Mark advised. "Hold on."

"No athletics like amateur athletics." Shane crooned as she zoomed the camera onto a particular woman, the girl's muscles flexing and contrasting with every breath and movement she made to keep up with the motorbike. "Oh, I see the Olympics for you, baby."

Zooming back out, so that the lens focused on the chest of a few girls instead of one, "Everybody's a winner."

888

Finding the box she was looking for, Alice ripped the tape binding the flaps together open. Digging through the box to make sure the booklets inside were indeed the ones she need, she removed thee test pamphlets and placed them into her book bag.

Folding the flaps closed, she removed a roll of brown tape from her bag and reclosed the box. Repositioning the box back onto the shelf where she found it, Alice waited until the signal that the cost was all clear to hop out of the truck.

888

Giving the bike gas, Mark floored it away from the running women and towards the original finishing line of the mini marathon the track team was running. Ripping the flag out of the ground, Shane signaled to Mark to start driving again. Zigzagging across a small patch of grass than across a street, Shane hoped off of the bike and replanted the flag near a fire hydrant.

Taking off with the bike towards a slightly wooded area, Mark started to prepare himself for phase three of the scam.

"Right here, right here!" Shane shouts as she hollered to the slightly confused runners, the change in course causing them to stop running and look around for the finish line in confusion. "All runners cross the street!"

As some of the runners started to run towards her, Shane continued to yell out, "This way, this way! This is a different route."

As the group of women started to run cross the street, the driver of Airborne Express truck slammed on his breaks, stopping the vehicle just shy of hitting one of the runners.

"Watch where you're going, asshole!" The women yelled in anger as she slammed her hands down on the hood as she continued to jog by.

"Yeah," someone said from behind her.

The sound of breaks squeaking and the thud of metal being banged on was Alice's signal to hop out of the truck. As she did so, she was met with the sight of Shane. Quickly, she handed over her book bag to the dark haired brunette in exchange for the shaggy haired girl's camera. As soon as the exchange was made, Shane was gone. In her place now stood Mark, completely dressed in a bicyclist garb, and with a bike, the front wheel already bent as if it had been ran over.

Chucking the bike at the bake of the truck, Mark threw himself on the ground then grabbed his right leg before screaming on the top of his lungs. "My leg!" Mark hollered as he roughly clutched his thigh.

"I can't believe it!" Alice said in faux shock as she zoomed the camera down on Mark's face.

"Oh!" Mark wailed in exaggerated pain. "You killed my tibia!"

"Oh, my God." Proclaimed the truck driver as he hopped out of the car and ran over to the injured man.

"What a travesty!" Alice half yelled as she scanned the camera back and forth from Mark to the driver.

"Oh, Lord!" The driver hyperventilated as her removed the baseball cap he wore from off of his head, rubbing the back of his hand across his forehead. "Jesus, this looks bad."

"He's never gonna make it." Alice continued to act, her voice trembling. "He's supposed to work in a kibbutz this summer."

"Whatever, but I didn't do anything." The driver replied nervously as he started to slowly back away from Alice.

"Have mercy on my leg!" Mark hollered out as he lashed out from side to side, his hands still clasped firmly to his leg.

"Keep lying, buddy." Alice growled out as she pointed the camera directly at the middle aged man's face, catching his distressed expression. "I got it all here on tape." Swinging the camera around to position it on a bumper sticker located on the rear end of the car, with the digits to the truck drivers company, "I might just call that number."

"I'm calling my supervisor." The man hollered out in anger as he stepped in front of the bumper sticker to try and prevent the young women from getting the phone number on tape.

"Oh yeah?" Alice protested in anger. "Why don't you call a doctor while you're at it? Look at him. You ruined his leg!"

"Hey, I was in Desert Storm, young lady!" The driver yelled out before storming off to the front of his car to contact his boss.

"God, it hurts!" Mark screamed loud, face tears now streaming down his face.

_**All of this...**_

"You don't know anything about driving." Alice continued to rant as she watched the driver hop into the truck, preparing to drive off.

_**To pass a test.**_

"He broke my tibia!" Mark shouted out as he sat upwards, drawing the attention of nearby students walking to class. "He broke … my tibia!"

_**It's one of our favorite scams … 'the worm on the hook'.**_ _**You see, the key was stealing an official university blue book...**____**which they kept under lock and key. Now, if you had an extra blue book...you could pretty much get away with anything. And now, after this morning, we had our very own supply.**_


	2. My first mistake

TITLE: Lovers, Liars, and Lunatics.

AUTHOR: mmmh-Hot-Sauce

RATING: R ... May become NC-17 later

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, well, maybe one or two, but as for the rest of them, nope.

SPOILERS: Completely AU

SUMMARY: Shane, Mark, and Alice are about to graduate from Berkeley University with majors in lying, cheating and scheming. But there latest scheme doesn't go as planned when they get busted by the most unlikely person on campus.

FEEDBACK: I would be grateful for any and all comments. This is my very first 'L Word' Fanfic

Note: Shane's thoughts are in black/italics.

**Chapter 2**

The Victorian style church tower loomed over the gothic style campus on the early February morning, casting an eerie shadow across half of the quad where a few students bravely faced the weather. As the temperature outside was starting to increase in preparation for a bright, shiny day, the wind began to pick up as well, sending the dead leaves on the ground to rustle around while trees, bare of foliage, swayed with the breeze. At the main gate leading into the college, the wrought iron framework was etched with the motto, "For God, for Country, and for Berkeley".

Through the gate, you can see a few students briskly walking, textbooks and binders clutched tightly to their chests as they hurried towards the academic buildings. As the streets and the quad started to clear out of the various by-goers, the campus clock attached to the church tower striked eight, singling the time with eight very loud and distinct rings. As the clock finished chiming, the doors to the classrooms closed, signaling the start of the midterm exams to all those already seated at their desks.

In room 214, the huge lecture hall is filled with about two hundred nervous college student, a majority of them nervously fidgeting as they anxiously waited for their exam packets. Along with the students, there are approximately a six teaching assistants, all of which are quickly working their way up the center aisle passing out the exams and blue books row by row.

888

"Okay, people, this is the midterm." Shouted a man in his mid-thirty's with thinning brown hair and wired rimmed glasses, a smug smile plastered on his face. "This exam is forty percent of your grade. But those of you with a working knowledge of the Franco-Prussian War shouldn't be too concerned. For those who don't … now's the time to start panicking."

"For those of you who don't know me, my name is Philip." Philip said smugly as he strutted back and forth at the front of the classroom, his hands clasped behind his back. "If you don't know who I am, that means you've never been to class."

"Study materials need to go under our desk...yes, that's right Mr. Dubroski, under … as my minions pass out the test booklets." He continued as he watched his students fold up their binders and note books, a majority of them immediately putting their study material away.

As the instructor of the midterm exam continued to explain the test, a figure in the aisle seat in the very last row started flirting with a sandy blonde hair girl sitting adjacent from her. "Hey." The girl called out, gaining the attention of the blonde haired girl sitting in the aisle across from her. "How you doing?"

"I'm good," the girl replied with a candid smile, seeming to enjoy the attention. "What about yo…" Here question was cut off as a snotty teaching assistant arrived in front of them, giving them both pointed looks before handing the other, dark haired girl, a stack of exams and blue books.

"Good luck, dude." The pompous boy sneered with a smirk on his face.

Giving him a fake smile and a nod, Shane held onto the exam packets, waiting for him to walk away. Once the arrogant teaching assistant reached the next aisle, she slowly took a few blue books and an exam off the stack and passed the rest to the overly anxious woman with granny glasses sitting next to her left. Instead of starting the exam like everyone else, she instead folded the test and placed it inside her black blazer, switching it with the stolen exam Alice had retrieved.

_**Here's where I made my first mistake. **__**This is how it all started. But, I mean, look at her. She's a prime example of why I went to college.**_

With her new pamphlet, she wrote on the bottom right corner, "What's your number?" and passed it across the aisle to the attractive blonde she was previously flirting with.

Looking up from her exam which she had been carefully reading over, the blonde looked over at Shane then around the room to see if anyone was watching them. Grabbing Shane's exam which the other girl was brazenly dangling between them, she read over the note, a smile forming over her face as she wrote a response back to Shane's question.

"This is a closed book exam." The proctor yelled as he positioned himself in a plastic chair behind a desk, his eyes fixed firmly on Shane. "Please, keep your study materials under your desk and wait until after the test is complete to talk to your friends.

Leaning over, Shane snatched her packet back from the blonde, a grin forming on her lips as she read the formally unnamed woman's response under her question. "Lily, 555-9372". She continued to smile as she reread the phone number, then casually took a hard candy out of her pants pocket, unwrapped it, and put it into her mouth. She looked around at the ridiculously frantic test-takers, shook her head in disbelief, and started working on the exam in front of her.

_**Man, this is a really hard test.**_ _**I don't think I know one of these damn answers.**_

After a few minutes of working, Shane placed down her pencil and looked over the exam thoroughly. She flipped through the three pages, and then flipped back. She let out a huge sigh, and then she resumed her writing in the blue book.

_**Good thing I'm not in this class. See, I'm simply here to copy the questions down.**_

888

In the same room, down near the front row, sat Carmen de la Pica Morales, a beautiful, but at the same time, a slightly intense young Latina women. In her blue exam packet, she wrote herself a mnemonic device to help her stay on track during her two hour test. As she writes, her tongue peeks out of the side of her mouth, her concentration solely focused on acing the exam

Directly behind Carmen sits the weasel, Jennifer Schecter. Her reputation as a freak, prima donna, egotistical ass, with narcissistic tendencies was quickly starting to spread throughout the college during her short year and a half on the campus. Jenny stared at the back of Carmen's head intensely, and then looked around the room to see if anyone was watching her. When satisfied that everyone was paying attention to their own work, even the teaching assistants, she 'accidentally' knocks her pencil onto the floor in front of herself.

Looking around the room again, she leant forward into Carmen's perfectly quaffed hair and inhaled deeply; taking great pleasure in the smell emanating from the Latina's freshly washed locks. Desperately trying to contain her moan of pleasure, Jenny smiled broadly, revealing a sinister gleam in her eyes.

Feeling a slight breeze rustling the back of her neck, Carmen turned around suddenly, only to see a dark haired girl jerk back into her seat, the mystery woman frantically pretending to look at something behind her. Creasing her brows together, she continued to stare at the bizarre girl for a few more seconds before returning back to her midterm, her grades much more important than what the girl had been doing.

As she bounced her eyes amid the jumble of test-takers in false pretense of stalking her yearlong crush, Jenny focused her attention on a petite blonde in the back row who was

stealthily passing some papers across the aisle to an eye-catching upper classmen, with boyish good looks, whom she was quite certain got her fair share of women.

Jenny continued to watch wistfully as the shaggy haired brunette unabashedly flirted with the blonde during the exam instead of filling out the pamphlet. Turning back around in her seat, she shook her head slightly in quiet resignation.

"Keep your eyes on your own papers. Joe Schmo has no answers for you." Philip said out load as a reminder, making sure to prevent any form of cheating.

888

Shane looked down with a bored expression at the exam now resting in front of her. The only part of the exam actually captivating her attention being the handwritten exchange between her and Lily, which now consisted of:

"What's your number?"

"Lily, 555-9372."

"Shane. 555-1850. You free this weekend?"

"Maybe. Call me."

Shane smirked at the suggestive smiley face doodled in the corner next to the words 'call me' before casually resuming to filling out her blue book. She carefully studies the exam and continued writing at a speedy pace, causing the bookworm looking woman sitting beside her to cast angry dagger eyes in her directions.

Scanning down to question number ten, she started to write word for word the question from the packet into the blue book. In fact, Shane had filled the blue book with all the previous test questions, but no answers. Once all the questions where copied into the blue book, she closed the pamphlet and slipped it into her black blazer. Pulling out the second blue book that she took from the stack, she opened it and laid it flat on her desk.

_**Look at me. I'm an anonymous blender-inner. I make the switch and I'll leave the stolen test booklet as a decoy.**_

The snobbish teaching assistant from before walked up the aisles, monitoring the exam as he slowly passed every aisle. Catching the grumpy young man's eye, Shane motioned him over.

"Uhm, I've got to use the rest room." Shane whispered as she looked pointedly into the man's chocolate brown eyes.

"That's not allowed during the test." He whispered back hotly.

"Dude, normally I wouldn't bother asking," she said as she looked at him incredulously. Leaning forward on the desk, her voice began to rise as she proceeded to speak. "But I have such bad food poisoning."

"Can't it wait?" He tried again, sticking to the rules set by the college.

"No. I've been puking all morning." Shane protested loudly, causing a few students to look at her oddly and the geeky girl next to her to slide further away. "I'm surprised I've been able to hold it this long. I don't think I can much longer, though. I'm about to ralph all over this desk."

"Okay, go. Alight." The teaching assistant said disgusted, stepping back. "And leave that stuff there."

_**And here? Here's where I made my finale mistake.**_

Shane gave the teaching assistant a brilliant smile as she pushed her chair back and stood up. For a brief second she looked down at the desk where the fake exam packet was, Lily's number neatly scribbled in the corner with her own name and number next to it. She hesitated with whether or not to tear the girl's number off of the sheet of paper but thought better of it with the teaching assistant standing right next to her. With a genuine look of disappointment, she walked out of the exam room, her section of the mission complete.

As she casually walked past the sign that said "Restrooms -", Shane walked out of the building in the general direction of her apartment, a cocky smirk plastered on her face as she thought about the con she just pulled off. Suddenly her thoughts turned to Lily and the hopes that the blonde women will notice her packet still sitting upon her desk when the test is over with. Hopefully, the attractive young women will take it upon herself to write down her cell phone number and call for a little weekend rendezvous.

With her right arm resting tightly against the side of her blazer, securing the stolen exam papers in their hiding place, she hurried across the campus towards her awaiting friends.

_**What you just saw was cheating. Now I've got the questions, and all my roommate needs are the answers**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mark Wayland and Alice Pieszecki excitedly played a **video game** in the common room of their bedroom dorm suite. Mark, a six foot two schlub, with a scruffy five o'clock shadow, competed fiercely against his friend. His large stature easily allowing him to tower over his semi petite, five foot six roommate as they both rambunctiously slapped buttons on the controller in an effort to see who was a better 'ultimate fighter'.

"Ahh, feels good." Mark murmured as he punched in a combo on the controller. "Like a cigarette should after sex."

"Fuck you!" Alice shouted back in outrage as she watched Marks chosen character punch hers in the face, sending blood flying across the screen and lowering her character's health drastically.

They continued to play in relative silence. A few grunts or moans escaping from their mouths every now and then, but for the most part, the only noise coming mainly from the game itself.

"You think we'd ever make it if we'd tried out for a porno movie?" Alice asked all of a sudden, her concentration still firmly fixed on the video game.

"I'm not sure" Mark replied honestly as he glided his hands over the controller, his fingers a blur of motion. "I think my dick's too small for the porno business."

"Come on, man." Alice said, chancing a glance at Mark's sweatpants incased crotch. "We'd get at least one free lay."

"Well maybe you'd get a free lay, dumbass." Mark chuckled as he continued to beat Alice's character to a bloody pulp. "But I wouldn't start out with the women. First I'd have to work my way through the gay porno ranks, then and only then would they let me do hetero shit. And I don't know, but right now I'm not into the whole gang-banged in the ass by dudes thing."

"How the fuck do you know this shit?" Alice inquired as she repeatedly hit the 'x' button on the controller, making her character stimulate an uppercut motion.

"I've got a cousin who's in the business." Mark shrugged casually as if it was no big deal.

"Yeah, right." Alice said, as if not believing his answer.

"Hey, hey." Shane shouted as she barged through the front door of their apartment, setting her keys on the small table set up by the door.

"Yo, Shane. True or false. A guy in the porno business's gotta start out doing gay porn first." Mark asked his friend, pausing the game as he turned around, waiting for the brunettes answer.

"True." Shane said matter-of-factly as she sauntered over to the couch.

"See." Mark proclaimed as he backhanded Alice in the shoulder. "What a dirty, despicable business."

"Yeah, man." Shane agreed as she looked at Alice. "If you wanna make your way up the ranks you gotta pay your dues. Anyways," she pulled out the papers folded up in her blazer and handed them over to Mark.

"Any problems?" He asked as he opened the pamphlet to look at the exam.

"Nope. I slipped in, I slipped out. I was fuckin' invisible. Relax." Shane smirked. "This worked out just as planned."

"Good" Handing over the black remote controller, "take over for me. I gotta call Max." 

888

Ten minutes later, the person known as Max was in their room. His appearance consisted of coco brown hair which was slicked back with an abundant use of hair product. He wore thick, black, square glasses and a red izod. With the young man's semi ruggedly good looks, he didn't look like the stereotypical geek, yet he held many of the quality's the trio specified when looking for a willing, albeit paid off, participant in their scheme to cheat the school.

"Guys, this is like child's play." Max said as he quickly scanned over the test. "An infant could do this work."

"Don't get flashy Max," Shane warned from her desk where she was lighting up a joint, her feet kicked up lazily in front of her.

"Nothing higher than an A minus, or we dock you." Mark added from his position sitting on the corner of Shane's desk, waiting for her to pass over the joint.

"Look, I'm just saying…" Max started to say.

"Don't bother." Shane said, cutting him off. "We pay you because you do phenomenal work, so just fill out that test."

"Maybe you wouldn't need someone to fill out every test form..." Max started to say, stopping only to reach across the table to accept the offered joint from Mark. Taking a puff of the stick of marijuana, he shook his head no, grimacing, "if you stopped smoking these doobies, smack joint heads."

"Don't be so smug, Max." Alice laughed as she walked up behind him, plucking the joint out of his fingers and taking a big hit for herself before passing it back to Shane.

"No. That, that doesn't agree with me," Max huffed out as he patted his chest. "I'm gonna work on this." He held up the test booklet as the others continued to get high.

"Yeah, you do that." Shane said through a cloud of smoke, her mouth forming an 'o' shape as the smoke billowed out around her. "There's another exam around here also that needs to be filled out, when you're done."

**-It's not that we're not smart, we are. Hell, we got into Berkeley! It's just I think we're too smart for our own good. We've cheated the system for so long that now we're coming to take it for advantage. Sometimes I think it would take less effort to just attend class and actually study for the tests … but then, where would the fun be in that?-**

888

"Okay, harrumph, it's over …" Philip said dryly as he signaled the end of the exam period, throwing his hands up in the air in mock cheer. "Hey, I saw that." He pointed to a male student near the back of the class room who flipped him the bird. "Flip me off one more time; I'm taking away the test."

"It's already over, ya dick." The kid called back as he slung his book bag over his shoulder and briskly walked out of the classroom.

"Oh, what colorful language," Philip replied with a lift of his right eyebrow as he stared at the retreating student. Ignoring the students disgruntled outburst, he continued to instruct the rest of the students on what to do, "Pass'em to your left. To your left!"

"Quickly!" He shouted with a repeated clap of his hands when the students didn't move fast enough, a good majority of the class still standing in the lecture hall. "And you may leave. I don't wanna see you anymore."

Standing on the outside aisle of her row, Carmen waited patiently as she collected everyone's test packet and blue booklet, neatly stacking them in two separate piles. As the last student passed her, she neatly crisscrossed the blue books over the white exam booklet and handed them to the professor, a genuine smile plastered on her face.

"Enjoy your vacation." Philip said to Carmen as he collected her papers, a brief smile emerging on his bleak face, before turning towards his desk to pack away all the exams.

"You too," Carmen said, smiling back at her professor joyously before bounding up the lecture to her awaiting friend, completely missing the dark haired women gazing longingly at her.

Once Carmen was out of the room, Jenny lent forward, inhaling the scent of the other girl left on the cushion of her seat. A lazy, psychotic smile broke out across her face as she inhaled the aroma of fresh Lilacs. Bending down, she reached for her satchel, pulling out a lint roller. Ever so gently, she brushed the fresh, white roller over the chair, picking up strands of Carmen's dark locks.

Leaning back in her chair, she looked down at the now soiled lint roller, her smile turning into a smirk. The sticky tape was covered in grey chair fibers with a few very long strands of dark, hazelnut colored hair.

"Okay, the test is over." Philip said rudely as he turned around from his desk, all the exams packed away into his briefcase. He looked pointedly at Jenny who was the only remaining person still in the room, "We're done here. You can go."

She nodded briskly at her professor before packing away the lint roller. Grabbing her bag, and notebook from off of the floor, she stood up and started to make her way towards the back of the room. At the top landing of the lecture hall, that's where she noticed it. The exam packet the other girl, with shaggy brown hair had been passing back and forth to the blonde.

Reaching down, she picked up the exam packet, her eyes scanning over the brief conversation before coming to lye completely on the name, Shane. Her smirk reappeared as she flipped open the blue book to find it completely empty, which was ironic considering she saw the women ferociously writing in it. She looked over the exam again, and that's when something else caught her attention.

Folding the paper vertically, Jenny shoved the exam belonging to the person known as 'Shane' under her left armpit and walked out of the building. A mischievous idea already forming in her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

"So, how'd you do on the test?" Carmen asked her friend as they walked side by side through the quad, enjoying the midday sun.

"Oh, who knows?" Her friend huffed, waving her off as she continued to read from a trashy magazine.

"What, you don't care?" Carmen asked her friends incredulously, her eyebrows raising high on her forehead.

"No, I do…" Her friend said as she lowered the magazine, letting out a sigh as she did so. "I'm just obsessing over this purity test."

"Trisha, it's a stupid magazine." Carmen said with a roll of her eyes, smirking playfully at her friend.

"Yeah, but I missed skank by two points." Trish huffed, slapping the magazine against her thigh. "Two points, Carmen! Two freaking points! I'm like a whore, Carmen."

"I don't think you have to worry about that." Carmen teased, stepping back quickly to dodge her friend's playful punch to the arm.

Off from a distance, Jenny watched as Carmen and her roommate merrily laughed together. As she watched the two friends interact, her own overactive imagination took over, like it did many other times, either in her head or on paper. Spying from the bench she was perched upon, she imagined walking up to the Latina and strawberry blonde haired women, approaching them with a swagger of aloofness, huskily saying 'hey'.

"Hey there, hot stuff," Trisha would reply to her in-kind as her pearly white teeth bit down on her lower lip, her right hand raking slowly over her chest.

"I thought that was your sexy ass." Carmen would then purr as she reached for Jenny, grabbing the girl by the shirt and pulling her closer. "Come here."

"Ooh, you guys are so fuckin' hot." Jenny would say throatily, slipping her tongue out to run it along Carmen's neck up to her mouth where she would lavishly kiss the other women.

"Give me some of that." Trish would then demand, adding into the kiss herself, dueling her tongue with Jenny's and Carmen's.

"Some of this?" Jenny pictured herself saying as she would cup the back of both girls' heads, kissing them simultaneously.

She was broken out of her lust filled fantasy as someone unceremoniously plunked down on the bench next to her, jostling her out of her thoughts. Shaking her head to clear away the foggy memory of making out with Carmen and Trisha, she quickly decided to try her luck and go talk to the Latina.

Briskly walking over to the two women still deep in conversation, she stopped in front of them, clasping her hands in front of her chest as if she was preparing to pray. "I was right. You're a hard person to follow," Jenny blurted out randomly.

"I'm sorry … but, I don't think that I know you." Carmen stated quizzically as she looked at the dark haired girl before glancing at her roommate who was equally puzzled. "Uhmm, I'm Carmen."

"We just took a test together." Jenny stated, as if that cleared everything up. Unclasping her hands, she pointed her index fingers from both hands at each girl, "You guys must've been in the zone when you were taking that test."

"Uhh," Carmen said uncertainly, the girl looking vaguely familiar.

"We sat right next to each other." Jenny half told the truth, trying to see if that would jog the attractive women's memory. "Well, I uhh…" Before she could finish her sentence, a man in a leg brace with a pair of crutches wobbled over to them.

"Hey, what's going on?" He asked casually, as he gave them a head nod. "How you guys doin'?"

"We're fine." Carmen said politely as she gave the injured man, a small smile. She was quite certain she recognized him from a few of her classes, his name was on this tip of her tongue, Mike … Matt … Mack, but not forthcoming.

"Yeah," he continued, "ya'll having a good day?"

"Yep." Carmen replied back, trying to stay as polite as possible with all the random intrusions.

"Uh-huh," Trish said uninterestedly, her attention having returned back to her magazine.

"Cool. Cool," Mark said as he scanned their faces, noticing the only one not replying was a scowling, somewhat short, dark wavy haired chick he'd never really seen before. "Hey, you guys know where Professor Donnelly's office is?

"Yeah, Professor Donnelly's office?" Jenny spoke up, her voice holding a twinge of anger mixed with jealousy. "I think it is right the fuck over there." She points to a red brick building about a hundred yards away before staring back up at the scruffy looking man and the ill fit band aide attached to the underside of his chin. "Can't you see that we're having a goddamn conversation?"

As Jenny continued to yell at the guy on crutches, Carmen looked over at her friend, Trisha's eyes just as bewildered as her own. Nodding her head in the opposite direction of where the peculiar, dark haired girl was standing, Carmen indicated for Trisha to back up and walk away, preventing them from having to communicate with her any further.

"Just back off and go do your stupid-ass thing so my friends and I can carry on with our conversation that you so rudely interrupted." Jenny growled out, poking the larger man in the chest with her bony index finger. Once she was sure she got her point across to the oaf of a man, she turned back around with what she assumed was an award winning smile, only to let it falter when she realized Carmen was no longer standing there.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Trisha asked as they made their way to their dorm building, walking the long way around campus on purpose to prevent 'accidentally' walking into the strange girl again.

"I have no fucking clue." Carmen proclaimed as she tossed her hands up in the air. "But I'm fairly certain she sniffed my hair during the exam."

"Get the fuck out of here?" Trisha scuffed, coming to a dead stop. Reaching out to stop her friend, "Alright, you need to tell me."

"I'm not joking," Carmen said with a huff as she turned to look at Trisha. "I was focused on my test, as I should be…"

"Do-gooder." Trisha coughed into her hand before rubbing her throat. "Oh, sorry. I think I'm catching something. Please continue."

Carmen gave Trisha a pointed look before continuing her story, "anyways. I was writing down an answer when I felt this weird sensation going through my hair … like someone breathing on the back of my neck."

"Eww, that's fucking gross." Trisha said, scrunching up her face in disgust.

"You're telling me," Carmen practically shouted. "So, I turn around and all I see is someone, I'm fairly certain it was her, flinging backwards into their chair and looking backwards, acting all nonchalant like they didn't do anything."

"Aww, someone has a crush on you," Trisha mocked as she started to laugh. "The fucking wackjob likes you. She wants to hug you, and kiss you, and marry you."

"Shut up," Carmen grumbled as she stormed off, her friend close behind her still laughing and taunting her.

Mark maneuvered his crutches down the deserted hallway of Remsen Hall with great ease, the movement of both legs making it easier than it should have been, especially since he joyously flung his legs about. As soon as he got within ten feet of his History Professors office, he resumed walking with a slight wobble, acting as if it hurt to move.

"Excuse me, Professor Philip?" Mark called out gently as he knocked on the office door that led into a two roomed office. The first room shared with Professor Philip Aldermen and Professor Janis Ericsson, an African American woman who taught 20th century African American Freedom Movement. In the backroom, with the door slightly ajar was Professor Donnelly's office, the head professor of the department.

"Hi, Professor Philip," Mark said as he walked further into the room, a solemn look on his face. "I'm Mark Wayland. I'm in your 12:20 class."

"Yes? And?" Philip asked dryly as he looked up from his computer, a bored look etched across his face.

"Well, sir. I was supposed to take you eight am midterm test today." Mark said as he took a step forward, forcing a wince to cross his face as he did so. "But as I was heading towards class … I was hit by a truck that wasn't paying attention."

"And what do you want me to do about this?" Philip asked Mark, his expression not wavering in the slightest.

"Well, sir, I was hoping I could make it up." Mark said, inching closer to his professor's desk.

"No." Professor Philip said sharply. "You missed it."

"But, Professor Philip!" Mark rebuked in astonishment, his eyes growing wide.

"The fact is, the midterm has already been administered, and you missed it." Philip said as he looked past Mark to his coworker. "Isn't that right Janis."

"You sure did." Janis tisked. "The test has been over for nearly an hour."

"You guys must not have heard me." Mark tried again, his voice growing loader. "I'm Mark Wayland. I got hit by a freaking truck this morning!"

"I heard all of that." Professor Philip said, brushing him off.

"What the heck is going on out here?" Came a gruff voice from behind the partially closed door.

"Professor Donnelley, thank God!" Mark said jubilantly as he watched the aging, grey haired man step out of his office. "Listen, my names Mark Wayland, I got hit by a truck today. And, all I want is to take the midterm.

"Hit by a truck?" Professor Donnelly questioned as he walked up to Mark. "Are you okay, son?"

"He got hit by a truck!" Janis and Philip said at the same time, obviously flabbergasted by their colleague's question.

"Okay, but is he all right?" Donnelly replied as he looked back and forth between all three people.

"I got hit by a truck." Mark said slowly, as if just saying the words were tiring and somehow hurt. "I got a busted tibia. My rib cage is very tender. My right pinky is bruised. My left testicle even turned blue."

"That must have been some accident." Donnelly said as he scratched the side of his temple with his right hand. "Why don't you drop your trousers and we'll examine 'em."

"Wooh! No!" Philip shouted, pushing his chair back sharply as he stood up. "Sorry kid, but the color of your balls won't change the fact that you missed the midterm."

"Hey, if it'll help me take the midterm," Mark said as he lowered his hands to the buckle of his belt. "I'd be more than happy to show everyone my balls."

"Eww, we don't wanna see that." Janis said in disgust, her nose scrunched up showing her disapproval.

"Forget about looking at the balls." Donnelly said shaking his head. "You're gonna take the midterm, kid." Looking over at Philip with a look of condescension, his expression challenging the younger professor to argue with his next statement. "And you are gonna let him take it at your desk. You'll have to move until he's through."

"I gotta take it somewhere." Mark said with a shrug, noticing his professor getting red in the face with anger.

"And I want you to give him all the time he needs." Donnelly finished, directing his current statement to Janis as he walked backwards towards his office. "Good luck, kid. Break a …uhmm …. Good luck."

Mark sat behind the desk for a while inspecting the exam packet handed to him to make sure it was the same one Max had previously filled out. He toyed with the pen in his hand and some objects on the professors desk as he idly wasted time, waiting for the perfect moment to make the switch.

As he nervously fidgeted with a paperclip, bending the metal object into a new shape, he looked over at Janis. The African American women was deeply engrossed in a telephone call, her attention fixed on the gossip the person on the other line was telling her as she spun her chair around, her back slightly turned to him.

"Ohh, girl, I'm tellin' you... tell that motherfucker to go." She said into the phone, her voice thick with malice. "He is no damn good. I bet he has crabs!"

A smirked etched across his face from the professor's statement, her one-sided conversation and outlandish demeanor making it hard to contain his laughter. Satisfied that Professor Ericsson was completely engrossed in her conversation, the women apparently planning an evening out with her friends, Mark swiftly removed the stolen exam from the elastic waist band of his sweatpants. Switching the test packets, he shoved the blank exam into his pants, making sure the elastic band of his sweats held them in place while his baggy shirt hid any noticeable bulges from the papers.

"Put on my hot boots, get my groove on." Janis chuckled into her phone as she absent mindedly typed something onto her computer.

"Well, I'm finished." Mark said with a smile, tapping the pen in his hand onto the desk. "I think I did pretty well."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Walking over to the mini fridge that multitasked as a table to hold up the television, Alice removed three cans of Budweiser. Returning to her friends who were sprawled out on the couches in the common area, she handed a can to each.

"Guys!" Alice exclaimed loudly as she raised her drink somewhat indifferently, popping open the lid. "Here's to another very successful operation."

"Possibly one of our last." Shane chirped in as she opened her beer as well, taking a long swig.

"Which I masterminded, by the way." Mark said excitedly, thrusting his open can of beer into the air, spilling foam onto his arm.

"Fine, we'll give you that." Alice chuckled as she sipped at her beer. "I think the well's starting to run dry. Wouldn't want you to **graduate** without getting in at least one good scheme your senior year."

"Hey!" Mark scowled, playfully chucking a pillow at the blonde. "I've contributed plenty of good schemes this semester, thank you very much."

"Just think guys," Shane said, cutting into the conversation as she chucked her now empty can of beer over the back of the couch. "This time next year, we'll have all gone our separate ways. How much is that going to suck?"

"God willing," Mark said dramatically with an eye roll.

"Come on, you're not actually looking forward to graduate school, are you?" Shane inquired, her right eyebrow raised high.

"I'm looking forward to getting my movie career off the ground," Mark said honestly. "And of course, making some serious scratch."

"And I'm looking forward to seeing you leaving this fucking room," Alice said with a grin, flinging back the throw pillow towards Mark's head.

"Good one, Louise Lane." Mark jived back, his smile taking up half of his face. "But Alice here, she's gonna get out too, I can see it. She's gonna be a mastermind journalist of the universe."

"That title there will help me get some fine bitches." Alice chuckled at Mark's concept of her career goal, finding it quite humors.

"Come on guys," Shane chasted, leaning forward on the couch to look at her friends closer before getting up to get another beer. "Are you telling me this hasn't been the greatest four years of your life?"

"Shane, these have been an amazing four years." Mark said as he looked at her with adoration. "But it has to end sometime. This can't last forever and you know that. It's time to move on, man."

"What do you have that's better than this?" Shane asked as she spread her arms out wide, gesturing to the dorm room around them. "This is great."

"This is great?" Mark restated sarcastically.

"This is a shit heap." Alice replied bluntly. "I gotta be honest, Shane. Best dorm on campus doesn't excite me much anymore."

"Are you kidding?" Shane asked astonished, her green eyes sparkling as she looked wide eyed at her friends. "It took four years to build this place. This place is great!"

"You seem scared to move on 'cause you don't know what to do with your life.  
>It's okay if you're afraid to graduate, Shane." Mark said sincerely, his eyes softening as he looked at Shane with sympathy. "If you're afraid of the future…"<p>

"Hey," Shane butted in, cutting Mark off from his touchy-feely moment. "You guys are my best friends and I'm not afraid to admit that. But, if I could, I'd stay in college forever."

"Well no shit," Said Alice with a scoff, "You'd be like Van Wilder or Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused, 'that's what I love about these college girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age' ha ha ha," she mimicked, impersonating the quote from the movie.

"You're a dick, Alice," Shane said gruffly, trying to hide the mirth in her voice.

"Yeah? Tell me something I don't know, weirdo." Alice shot back. "But back to the subject at hand, where the fuck are you going next year, when all of this is said and done?"

"Beats the shit out of me." Shane said quietly as she stared down at her can of beer, her grip increasing on the cold metal as the tin slowly started to crush inwards.

"Come on." Mark said, breaking the silence that settled over the friends. "Let's go celebrate."

"Celebrate how?" Alice asked as she stood up from the couch.

"The only way we know how," Shane said with a smirk, looking up from her crushed can of beer.

"Bennigan's?" Mark asked with a knowing smirk, indicating the low-key, college friendly restaurant just a short walk from campus; it being their normal haunting grounds when it came time to celebrate.

"I'll go get the birthday club cards." Alice said giddily as she jogged off to her room.

The trio sat in a tarnished leather 'u' shaped booth towards the back corner of the diner, their merrily laughter caring richly throughout the restaurant. In the middle of the booth sat Alice, her left hand holding a pint of beer while her right hand fiddled with a fake I.D, the overhead florescent light casting an eerie glow on the laminated yellow card.

"Aww, this is the life," Mark sighed as he sipped his beer, watching as the wait staff marched towards them with big cheesy grins on their faces. As the three peppy waiters surrounded their table, joyously clapping their hands in rhythm, he looked over at Alice and Shane.

"When we say "happy," you say "birthday."" The greasy dark haired man in the center sang, pointing at the occupants sitting at the table.

"Happy." They three waiters said.

"Birthday!" All three friends chanted at once, raising their beers in salute.

"When we say "birthday," you say "party." The greasy haired man said, changing up the lyrics.

"Birthday." The wait staff said in unison.

"Party!" The friends cheered in unison once more, their beer sloshing out of their cups as they clinked them together.

"Let's say it. Happy birthday." The lead birthday singer said.

"Happy birthday!" The two back up waiters followed in harmony. "Now, let's party..."

"Hearty!" The trio cheered before titling their heads back, each of them taking a long guzzle from their drinks.

"Party hearty, guys." The greasy haired man said as he gave a two figure salute before walking off to another table, his cheesy smile still plastered onto his pimple marked face.

"Here's to an A-minus, fellas," Mark said to his friends once the wait staff was away from the table, tapping his glass against the girls. "in world history to boot."

"The easy way." Alice smirked.

"That's right." Mark confirmed with a nod of his head before waving over a waitress to get another round of beers.

**That's Mark.**

**Mark, he … well, Mark cheats for convenience. At this school, if you can't pass a foreign language exam... well you'll have to spend the next two years waking up at eight a.m. to attend classes on the other side of campus. And Mark never attended any eight am classes, and never plans to.**

**The beginning of our freshmen year, it was actually Mark's idea to join forces. Alone we were just a couple of freshman cheaters... but together we were dangerous. A force to be reckoned with.**

**We devised a devious plan to get us both out of the foreign language exams. You see, while he was in the classroom with the proctor, pretending to be taking the exam, I was in the bathroom with a pack of menthol cigarettes and my zeppo lighter, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. **

**We had this whole scheme planned out from day one. Our professor at the time was a very old and somewhat naive Italian man. His grasp on modern English wasn't that good … and neither were his hiding skills. From early on we realized that he placed the answer key to every test we were about to take in the top right hand drawer of his desk. After finding this out … all we needed to do was get Professor Giordano, and the rest of the class, out of the room so we could work our magic. **

**And that's how scheme number one came into play. We called it 'The Ace in the Hole'. Mark would sit at his desk in the class room, pretending to be fully engrossed in a foreign language he couldn't speak nor understand, while I stood on top of a toilet in a bathroom down the hall, a lit cigarette in my mouth as I blew smoke up into a smoke alarm. Once the alarm sounded, Mark would scream fire, claiming he smells smoke and do the gentlemanly thing and usher his professor and classmates out of the room towards safety. Once the coast is cleared in the hallway of all petrified student's, I would then make my way out of the restroom and stand guard at the threshold of the classroom, while Mark rooted around in Giordano's desk for the answers. With the answers in hand, he will then proceed to fill out both of our scantrons, of course making sure to miss a few questions on each test … don't want to raise too much suspicion. After each exam was properly filled in, we would neatly scribble our names on the top, place them on our assigned desks, return the answer key to Professor Giordano's desk, and sneak out the fire door to join the rest of our class, leaving everyone none the wiser to our little scam.**

"Oh! So, I was browsing the internet today for some new positions," Mark blurted out all of a sudden. "Cause you know, I'm always looking to broaden my horizon."

"Is that supposed to be like a trade secret?" Alice asked sarcastically, her expression emotionless. "Porn is mailed to the room almost daily. You're a rabid consumer of porn."

"What, I like porn!" Mark defended, his voice slightly rising in protest.

"That's like the understatement of the century." Alice snickered, shaking her head in amusement.

"Okay, so I've seen a lot of pornos in my day," Mark replied honestly with a shrug of his shoulders. "I like porn, sue me."

"Mark, everyone likes porn." Shane scoffed as she looked at her friend from over the brim of her glass. Placing the now empty glass on the table, "But what you do is unhealthy. Dude, you go through more tissues than a widow."

"Fuck you, Shane." Mark ribbed back good-naturedly.

"Yea, Mark." Alice said trying to contain a snicker. "I mean, you're twenty-two. Shouldn't your hormones have finally balance out by now? If not, shit, shares in Kleenex are gonna take a dive when it does."

"You guys are assholes," Mark shot back as he sank further into the leather cushions of the booth. "What is this, gang up on Mark night?"

"Nah, that's Tuesday nights." Shane said with a wave of her hands, causing Alice to laugh some more. "You know that."

From behind the counter, where a few patrons silently ate their meals, Jenny halfheartedly wiped down the countertop as she whistled an unidentifiable tune. As she absentmindedly brushed crumbs off of the counter left from previous customers, her eyes fixed firmly on the three friends enjoying their third round of beers a short distance away. She hesitantly sidestepped as she wondered whether or not she should approach the close nit group of friends. Stepping around the counter, she cautiously approached the table, her feet shuffling on the floor as she slowly moved towards the small group of friends. Turning around, she started walking back towards the counter before spinning swiftly on the heel of her shoes and marching back over the edge of the table. Standing there, with her clenched fists raised up to her chest in a form of protection, the semi dirty wash cloth still grasped firmly between her hands as her beady brown eyes stared at the trio, she started to giggle.

"Hey Mark, you should …" Alice started to say before a waitress with long, dark tresses swirled around one shoulder walked up to the table. Her slight chuckling causing the blonde to stop midsentence with a perplex look on her face as she stared up at the intruder.

"Hey," Jenny said shyly as all eyes turned to her. "Happy birthday or whatever."

"What's up?" Shane asked none too friendly as she leant forward, her elbows perched on the sticky table top. Her eyes were cold and unwelcoming as she stared at the girl standing before her, fidgeting nervously with a used washcloth.

"How'd you do on the test?" Jenny inquired after a few seconds as she dropped her hands down to her side. She had been momentarily stunned by the shaggy haired girl's standoffishness but quickly overcame the brushoff as she raised her right eyebrow in haughty questioning.

Well, I fucked up a little," Shane said with a modest shrug as she slowly shifted backwards into the cushion. "But I'm positive I passed."

"Yeah, me too." Jenny said as she flung the dirty dishcloth over her left shoulder. "By the way, what's your name again?" Jenny asked with a knowing smirk, the other girl bound to fall right into her plan.

"Robin Cooper," Shane said quickly, not missing a beat or batting an eyelash.

"Yeah. I saw you talking to that fabulous babe. What's her name?" Jenny inquired with a snap of her finger. "Lily, right?"

"That's right." Shane replied curtly, not liking where the conversation was going.

Looking at Alice with a perplex look, Mark turned his head towards Jenny. "Listen, can we help you with something?" he asked, the uncomfortable showdown between the waiter and Shane becoming unbearable.

Shifting her eyes from off of Shane to the man in the far corner of the booth who just spoke up, her eyes suddenly widen in recognition. Taking a step back from the table and bending down slightly, "Oh, my God, how's your leg?"

"Obviously, he's a lot better now." Alice said snappishly, her voice laced with cynicism as Jenny straightened back up. "Thanks for your concern. And if you're done, trying to hide the baloney pony... we've got some stuff to eat." She stared hard into the other women's chocolate brown eyes, feeling satisfied as a grimace started to emerge on the waitress's face. "So why don't you scamper off and get us another round of beers."

With a scowl on her face, Jenny gave a curt nod to the insolent blonde women as she feverously ripped the towel off of her shoulder. Twirling around, she started walking off towards the kitchen before she hesitated, pivoted, and stared back at the group of friends. "Happy birthday." Jenny said petulantly as she stared at the blonde before walking backwards to another table, a scowl still permanently plastered on her face.

"Yeah, dude." Shane said with a wry grin as she looked over at Alice, her brooding expression from before long gone. "Happy birthday, man."

Third one this week." Alice said with a proud smirk as she placed the fake Bennigan's birthday card I.D. into the breast pocket of her shirt.

"I'm proud of you." Mark said as he patted Alice's back, a light chuckle escaping his lips as he did so.

"So, Shane, who is that chick?" Alice finally asked as she caught sight of Jenny again, the waitress clearing plates off of a recently vacated table. "She one of your one night stands?"

"Nah. She's just a bus boy." Shane said with a shrug as she looked over to stare at the brunette.


	6. Chapter 6

It was around two thirty the following day and the cheerleading team was in full practice mode. On the field, the group of young women, in their short skirts and tight tops, animatedly did cartwheels and other aerobic tricks.  
>Ten feet away, stretched out on the bottom row of the aluminum bleachers, with two book bags filled with beers between them, sat Shane, Mark, and Alice.<p>

"Mmmh, look at Jackie," Purred Mark as he stared at one particular cheerleader, the slim girl stretching out her perfectly toned legs.

"That's nothing," Alice waved off as she pointed to a redhead flawlessly accomplishing a backhanded summersault. "Check out Sarah.

"Guys, they're all hot," Shane mumbled as she cracked open another beer. "No need to argue. Let's just bask in their beauty."

"Come on Shane," Alice waved off as she rolled her eyes at her best friend. "You can't tell me that there isn't one girl on this team that you think is hotter than the rest and you would fuck above all the others."

"I never said that." Shane said nonchalantly. "I think Jackie and Sarah are perfectly hot … and that's why I've already fucked them both."

"What the fuck, Shane!" Alice yelled in anger as she chucked her partially drank can of beer at Shane, the shaggy haired girl's indifference towards hers and Marks feelings truly pissing her off. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Come on, Alice," Shane said in a pleading tone as she removed her aviators and whipped clean her blue button down shirt before looking over at her friends pissed off expression. "It was two years ago. Way before you ever even noticed Sarah."

"What about Jackie?" Mark asked, his voice low as he looked over at Shane with a hurt expression.

"Mark." Shane said, finding it hard to say anything else as he looked at her with sad, pleading eyes. "I'm sorry, Mark."

"I don't know why I'm so disappointed," Mark said honestly as he casted his eyes downward, his feet absentmindedly shuffling back and forth on the grass until they made divots in the dirt. "It's not like I ever have a chance against you with a girl."

"Mark, don't say that." Shane said sympathetically, her hand instantly reaching out to cup his shoulder. "Listen, if Jackie … or Sarah," she looked over at Alice who was still seething in anger, "are willing to give it up to me, a true and utter fuck up, on the first date, they're not good enough for you guys. You guys deserve real, compassionate women who won't fuck you over. And Jackie and Sarah … they aren't them. They're just looking to have fun, like I am. And I'm really, really sorry"

"Shane," Alice said, her anger slowly starting to dissipate. "You're not a complete fuck up. True, you do fuck up sometimes, but you're a flawed person just like everyone else … and I wouldn't have you any other way." Scooting over on the bleacher, Alice removed a beer from her book bag and handed it over to the brunette. "I know you do some stupid shit sometimes Shane, but you would never hurt either of us on purpose."

"I really wouldn't" Shane said honestly as she looked back and forth between her roommates. "If I had known beforehand … I swear, I never would have touched them."

"Thanks," Mark said with a curt nod as he looked back out at the cheerleaders, the girls arranging themselves into a human pyramid. As his eyes landed on Jackie, a small sigh escaped his lips.

"Mark?" Shane tried, her guilt already eating at her knowing she hurt her friends feelings. "I'm really sorry Mark, I didn't know."

"It's fine." He said monotone, his eyes never leaving the girl. "She never gave me the time of day anyhow."

"Hey, why don't we ditch the cheerleaders and go check out the tennis players?" Alice asked as she started kicking the empty beer cans under the bleacher while she zipped up her backpack.

"The tennis team?" Mark asked incredulously, not thinking they'd be as hot as the cheerleaders.

"Yeah, there's this one player I've been scoping for the last few weeks." Alice said with a head nod. "Superhot. She has killer long legs, a tight lean body, and an amazing smile."

"She sounds hot. What's her name?" Shane inquired as she lowered her sunglasses, a mischievous smirk starting to form on her lips as she raised her right eyebrow high onto her forehead.

"Don't you fucking touch her, Shane!" Alice practically yelled, her right index finger pointing venomously in the brunette's face.

Holding up her hands in self-defense, "Hey, I made my mistake once. I ain't going to cross that line again."

"You better not." Alice warned as Mark silently chuckled behind them. "I swear, I will beat the ever loving crap out of you if you do."

"Wooh. No. I'm good on getting my ass kicked." Shane said as she clasped her hands together in front of her chest. "I swear, I'll stay very far away from ALL tennis players. Guys included."

"Good, now let's go." Alice said as she hopped off the bleachers, her book bag slung over one shoulder and clinking as she briskly walked away.

"You heard the lady," Mark said with a shrug as he picked up the other book bag. Pushing Shane off the bleachers in the direction Alice was walking, they both began to follow suit, heading in the direction of the tennis courts.

***

As they were bypassing the cheerleaders, a high pitch voice caught their attention. Ignoring the person screaming, the trio continued to walk until the voice started calling out to them personally.

"Hey, Robin Cooper and friends!" The shrill voice called out. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" Getting frustrated that the trio were ignoring her; Jenny decided to use a different tactic. "Shane!"

At hearing her name being called, Shane stopped dead in her tracks, turning around to look at who was calling her. Behind her, the waitress from the previous night was vigorously pushing her way through the throngs of cheerleaders, shoving some of them sideways as they energetically went through one of their routines.

"Hey, you guys are about to enter into a world of pain," Jenny shouted out, catching Alice and Mark's attention who were impatiently waiting for Shane to catch up with them.

"What are you talking about, freak?" Alice asked as she stormed over to the dark haired girl, her jaw clenched in aggravation.

Staring up into the unnamed girls eyes, she let out a light chuckle as a smirk overtook her lips. Raising her left hand and pointing it at Shane, which caused Alice's eyesight to shift. "Her. Ya, you. I know what you did."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shane asked as she took a step closer to the other women, her hands buried deep in the pockets of her worn out jeans as the fingers on her right hand unconsciously played with her zeppo lighter.

"I was there. I saw it." Jenny said smugly, stepping up to be a hairs breath away from Shane. "I saw what you did."

"Move, or you're gonna get hurt." Shane warned as she removed her hands from her pockets, her hands automatically clenching into fists at the other girls close proximity.

"Is that the tweaked bus boy from last night?" Mark asked as he came to stand by Alice, his eyebrows scrunched together as he watched Shane and the mystery girl stand toe to toe.

"I know what you did." Jenny growled out as she looked up into Shane's green, penetrating eyes. "I was sitting right there."

"Hey, shorty." Mark hollered, grabbing Jenny's attention away from Shane. "Why don't you take the freak show somewhere else? We have somewhere to be."

Slowly turning around from Shane, Jenny's eyes narrowed on the tall, semi built man only a few feet away from her. "How's your leg feeling, buddy?" She asked in a condescending voice, her head tilted to the side as she looked at him mockingly. "You're walking awfully well for having a broken leg."

"Seriously, dude," Alice huffed as she rolled her eyes upward. "What's your problem?

"I know about the test," Jenny blurted out, her nostrils flaring as she stared daggers at the three friends.

Mark and Shane share a quick glance before Mark spoke up, "What test?"

"Yesterday's history midterm, smartass." Jenny clarified as she clenched her jaw. "With Professor Philip!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Shane said as she removed her glasses, trying to play it cool.

"I'm not kiddin' around, bitch." Jenny growled out in frustration, jabbing her right index finger in the center of Shane's chest. "You guys are busted. I've caught you all red-handed."

"Don't fucking touch me," Shane growled as she slapped away Jenny's hand. With her blood still boiling, she roughly pushed Jenny backwards by the shoulders, sending the shorter girl toppling into Alice.

"Okay, let's see this so-called proof." Alice said as she grabbed a hold of Jenny by the back of the neck.

"I got the proof." Jenny declared as she struggled out of Alice's grasp. Removing her schoolbag from off of her back, she ripped open the zipper and removed an exam paper and showed it to the blonde women. "See!" Whirling around to show the packet to the tousled hair brunette, "This proves you were there, Shane."

Shane stared at the packet in disbelief. Her messy handwriting scribbled in the corner felt like a slap to the face. Before she could reach for the packet, Mark snatched it out of Jenny's hands. As his eyes quickly scanned over the short conversation, his hand started to crumple the packet in anger.

"Oh, don't worry about ruining that," Jenny said offhandedly as she stared at Mark. "I got plenty of copies."

"This doesn't prove anything," Mark sneered as he continued to crumple up the sheet of paper.

"Yeah, you can't prove anything." Alice chimed in, bobbing her head up and down. "So why don't you just pat yourself on the back, Sherlock, and go on your way."

"Hmmm, let's see... You know, at first I didn't get it. Then it hit me." Jenny said as she stroked her chin in mock contemplation, her grin spreading from ear to ear. "I've got Shane here at an exam for a class she's not enrolled in. And then, I've got you," She pointed at Mark, "taking the test after it's over, and on fake crutches to boot. And what a coincidence …you guys are roommates."

"So what?" Shane said with faux bravado as she looks around the athletic field to see if anyone was watching.

**Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.**

"So what?" Jenny asked back with her trademark smirk, provoking the desired reaction in the group. "Well, if this were to get out, you guys would probably be expelled. Do you really need a diploma? No, I don't think so." With a casual shrug of her shoulders and a few leisurely steps, she continued on her little tirade, "but, you know, if you wanted to go to a graduate school to advance your film career, for instance... that'd be pretty tough. Or be hired by a prestigious journalism corporation like 'Hamilton, Crawford, & Falck'."

"I'm into that firm." Alice said suddenly, casting an incredulous glance at Jenny.

"I know." Jenny replied cryptically. "I saw your name on the interview list. Good luck getting that job. They don't hire cheaters."

"Hey, wait!" Mark yelled as he noticed Alice's crestfallen face, his own expression diming as he envisioned their futures quickly slipping through their hands. "Wait. Okay, what do you want?"

"You know, that's a good question. And one I've put a lot of thought into." Do I want money? I mean, this information ought to be worth a few grand … "

"No fucking way," Shane bellowed, the arrogant women seriously pissing her off.

"Shane!" Mark chastised, his eyes widening as he stared down his friend. "Shane, come on, help."

"Okay." Shane said, finally budging. "What do you want?"

"Listen, I've got a problem that needs a very creative solution." Jenny said casually, as if she didn't have a care in the world. "It's about a girl."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shane inquired, her voice low and full of malice.

"I'm talking about you "delivering" a certain woman to me." Jenny said to Shane, putting it bluntly. "You're obviously amoral... but certainly clever in your ways. And you, you may have some... people skills I may lack.

"You want us to help you get laid?" Shane deadpanned, her scowl no closer to disappearing.

"Very good." Jenny praised with a clap of her hands, treating the brunette as if she was a well-behaved dog. "You catch on fast."

"That's the fucking proposition?" Mark snapped, not liking being blackmailed by some little weasel. "Some chick?"

"This isn't a dating service. This is college. Bag your own bitches." Alice replied angrily, not liking the idea of being blackmailed either, never mind the notion of having to play matchmaker for someone jeopardizing her future.

"Carmen's not a bitch!" Jenny flipped, turning bright red and lunging towards Alice, punching her repeatedly in the chest. "She's a very sweet girl! Not a dirty whore like your mother!"

"Wooh! Take it easy!" Mark shouted as he grabbed Jenny off of Alice, lifting her up from her armpits and suspending her in the air at arm length distance so he wouldn't be kicked by her flailing feet. "You gonna be good?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes." Jenny hollered as she continued to flail her legs.

"You alright, Alice?" Shane asked as she gripped an arm around the blonde's waist, preventing Alice from charging the waitress once Mark put her down. "Mark, back her away."

"I have copies." Jenny reminded everyone once Mark put her down. "I'm not afraid to expel you."

"Take it easy. Relax." Shane said as she released her grip on Alice. Turning her attention back to Jenny, who was standing in a defensive stance, "Can you tell me what this girl even look like, at least?"

"I'll do you one better," Jenny said complacently as she let her book bag slid down her shoulder. Opening the front compartment on the backpack, Jenny removed a worn Polaroid picture of the girl she had a crush on. Handing over the picture to Shane, "You can keep that. I have plenty of others."

Shane stared at the picture intently, taking in the full physical appearance of the women smiling in the picture. "Honestly, what do you expect us to do?"

"I don't know." Jenny replied with a shrug. "And I don't care. All I know is that I want her and you're going to help me get her."

Looking up from the worn-out picture, Shane stared at the neurotic, egoistical woman only a few feet away, "Give me a day? I need to think about this. This is a tough one. Just … just give us the night."

"Fine." Jenny said with a huff as she straightened back out her clothing. "They call me Awesome Jenny." Jenny said arrogantly. "I live in Hannigan Hall"

"All right, whatever." Shane said with a shake of her head, hopping that this conversation would soon be over. "We'll find you."

"You better," Jenny said with a knowing smirk as she quickly started to back away from the three fuming friends. "You have one day, or I play show and tell with the Dean."

Shane casted her eyes back down at the photograph in her hand before shoving it into her pocket. "We'll find you." she said again in confirmation as she looked up at the retreating woman's form.

**I didn't like being blackmailed by "Awesome Jenny"... but she sure did have good taste in women.**

"So, those tennis player?" Shane said offhandedly, casting a sheepish smile to her friends in an attempt to try and turn the conversation to a lighter topic.

"Fuck you, Shane," Mark snarled as he walked passed his roommate, roughly slamming into her shoulder as he strode by.

"Not cool, Shane." Alice agreed with a nod of her head as she followed behind Mark, planning on heading back to their suite. "Not cool."


	7. Chapter 7

Three hours and several beers later, Shane hesitantly entered into her dorm room, hoping the time she spent away at a dingy bar a few blocks off **campus** would have alleviated her friend's anger. As she gingerly closed the door behind her, she quietly walked into the foyer of their suite, instantly spotting Mark sitting crossed legged on the couch, his body hunched over his sticker covered Compaq laptop.

"What are you doing? She asked after a few moments of silence, not being able to decipher what Mark was furiously typing up on a **Microsoft** Word document.

"Writing an essay," Mark replied in an icy tone, not looking up from his laptop as he spoke.

"Oh, Penthouse is taking unsolicited submissions now?" Shane said with a cocky, sideways grin, hoping Mark would cut her a break.

"Good one." Mark replied, his voice still ice cold. "It's my submission essay to **University** of Southern California."

"Why do you want to go to that shithole?" Shane ridiculed as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Those morons have no personality."

"That may be," Mark replied offhandedly as he continued to type. "But the Hollywood Reporter's inaugural list seems to think they're number one."  
>"Whatever." Shane said with the roll of her eyes. Turning her attention to Alice who was sitting at her desk with her back turn to Shane and Mark, "and what are you up to, Miss. Personality?"<p>

"Research." Alice said bluntly as she leafed through a few broachers. "I've got my screening interview tomorrow."  
>"Aight," Shane said with an audible sigh as she made her way further into the room, plopping down onto the couch next to Mark. "I'll just chill here, then."<p>

She sat on the couch for what felt like and eternity, but in hindsight, was more like five minutes. Impatiently, she started to tap her feet on the carpeted floor, her knees bouncing up and down as she fidgeted from boredom. As the seconds ticked by, she started to tap the tips of her fingers on the side of her denim clad thighs, the rhythmic drumming along with her constant foot tapping filling the silent void in the room.

"Fuck! Shane!" Mark yelled as he slammed the lid of his laptop down.

"Sorry," Shane said sheepishly, all movement stopping immediately. "You wanna do something?" She asked with a hopeful look on her face. "Let's do something. Let's watch a movie. Or play a video game."

"No thanks," Mark grumbled out as he re-opened his laptop, refusing to make eye contact with his best-friend.

"Al?" Shane tried, the other girls name coming out of her mouth in a mere whisper.

"No, I'm good." Alice replied just as gruffly as Mark did, also refusing to make eye contact. "Why don't you go find some random floosy to hang out with?"

Mumbling something incoherent under her breath, Shane stood up from the couch and crossed over to the small area designated as their kitchen. Ripping open the refrigerator door, sending small fruit shaped magnets flying everywhere, Shane bent over and removed a Mountain Spring water bottle from the vegetable crisper drawer. Twisting the plastic cap off and bringing the plastic bottle to her lips, she tilted her head back and chugged half of the bottle in one large gulp. Replacing the cap, she looked back into the semi filled refrigerator, taking in the moldy, leftover slices of pizza and fuzz covered cartons of Chinese takeout before slamming the fridge door shut.

With a heavy sigh, she looked at their green, rust speckled refrigerator. The old metal icebox, which seen better days, was adorned with a multitude of magnets, a majority of them pinning a napkin or a piece of paper with a name and number to the metal. This fridge, which all three of them had found while skipping class during their sophomore year, was a symbol of their friendship. It was the day they made the unspoken pack that their friendship would come before anyone else. That their friendship meant the world to each other and that they would do anything to uphold one another's loyalty.

To an outside, the fridge was a heap of shit. A rusty, twenty year old, piece of crap that should have stayed buried in the center of the woods. But to them, it represented an adventure. It brought back memories of a day not close to being forgotten when the three of them played hooky in the woods a few miles from campus, getting stoned and drinking piss-warm beers. Of how they spent hours digging the metal death trap out of rubbish and pushing it back to the dorms where, from that point forth, it would be the birth place to advertise and flaunt 'booty calls' 'one night stands' and 'fuck buddy's' to all those that wish to view.

-My college career is a house of cards... glued together with thousands of lies, and now it's being threatened... by some loser with a crush?-

Running a shaking hand through her shaggy hair, Shane took a step away from the fridge, another sigh escaping her lips as she looked over at her friends who were still deeply engrossed in their work, pretending to ignore her presence. Stealing up her nerves, Shane walked back into the foyer, her steps slow and sluggish as she came to stop right in front of Mark.

"Look. I'm sorry I wrote on the test, alright?" Shane said sincerely as she looked down at Mark. "But you should have seen this girl."

"Nice fucking job," Mark objected as he stood up to confront Shane.

"I said I was sorry," Shane repeated, her jaw clenching as she looked up through her shaggy bangs into Mark's glaring eyes.

"Sorry isn't going to get us out of this goddamn nightmare, Shane!" Mark grumbled as he threw his hands up in frustration. "You really screwed the pooch on this one."

"So we'll help this chick and we'll be done with it." Shane said with a shrug of her shoulder, acting as if it was no big deal.

"We're not helping Erkel get a girlfriend," Alice protested, spinning her chair around to join Mark and Shane's argument. "You know what? Just say the word and I'll ice this bitch."

"Shut up, Alice!" Mark hollered as he whirled around to look at her, his hand held up to cut off any more of Alice's outlandish ideas. "You're not the one on the line here. I'm the one who is completely fucked. I need to graduate. I'm not some spoiled little rich kid who can go anywhere with mommy's money." Turning his head back to stare at Shane, his eyelids narrowed into little slits, "And I'm not some aimless loser who doesn't care about anything."

"Ouch, man. That was rough." Alice said honestly as she stood up from her chair. Walking over to the two friends who were standing offal close to each other, she took in Shane's pained expression; her eyes squeezed shut, jaw clenched, and chest heaving up and down with short jagged breaths. Placing a hand on both of their chests, Alice gently pushed the friends apart. "Mark, take a breath. Calm down a bit."

With the gentle nudge from Alice, Shane started to pace the area of the foyer, her hands digging deep into her front pockets. Stopping her pacing and removing her right hand out of her jean pocket to casually wave around, "Look. Why don't we just do what she says?"

"That's not going to work." Mark groaned in annoyance, his head lolling from side to side. "You do what this chick says and we'll be kissing her ass forever."

"Don't tell me you guys are actually afraid of that little weasel?" Alice asked, her beady eyes darting back and forth between Shane and Mark. "Let's just get the damn test back."

"Or we could just come up with a four-star plan to hook up a complete loser with this Carmen chick." Shane deadpanned, explaining her idea as if it was the simplest notion.

"Why the hell should we?" Alice asked defiantly, her arms crossing under her breasts.

"It'll be fun." Was Shane's response, a smirk making its way across her lips. "Come on, guys. We've got nothing better to do."

"Okay, I have class with that girl, Carmen." Mark spoke up, his anger finally subsided. "And there is no way that this Jenny girl is getting any tail with that Latina chick. I mean, you've seen her. She like the female version of Jeffrey Dahmer. Fucking insane!"

"It'll never work," Alice agreed with a shake of her head. "Last year, she put on a show of one of her "screen plays" in the theatre. It was three hours long … and she played every part! So yeah, I agree with Mark. She's fucking insane."

"You know what?" Shane asked, coming to stand in front of the other two. "We've become soft. Complacent. I fear our greatness is behind us. Remember when we used to fax in our final papers from Vegas?"

"I remember, Shane." Mark said after a few moments, obviously knowing Shane was waiting for a response. He thought back on those times and the fun that they had, "that was freaking crazy."

"That was living." Shane replied heartedly, full of compassion. "And Al, what about the time you stole Dean Carl's Christmas tree? That was living!"

"Oh, Shit. You're right!" Alice said with mock excitement, forcing out a few chuckles for added measure. "We've lost our way. What have we become? What have we become?"

"Look." Shane said, acknowledging Alice's sarcasm with a fake smile of her own as she ran her hand from her forehead to the nap of her neck, brushing her hair back. "Never before have we attempted to solve the most complex equation known to man. The human heart."

"You're a true homo," Alice said sardonically, a wry smile etching at the edge of her lip.

"Guys, consider this for a moment," Shane said, a ponderous expression on her face. "This is the ultimate challenge. This will be like the culmination of our college careers. The three of us will be the first people in history to solve the conundrum of femina!"

"Whatever," Alice replied with a groan as she unceremoniously plopped down on the couch; grabbing a pillow and pulling it close to her chest.

Sitting down next to the blonde at a slower, more graceful pace, her knees bent out wide as she relaxed into the worn down cushion of the couch, "I say we do this."

"I say fuck off," Alice sneered as she pushed Shane's left knee away from hers.

Rolling her eyes at the blonde's blunt behavior, she tilted her head up at Mark, the young man still standing in the center of the room with a scowl on his face. "Mark? You're the deciding vote."

"I don't have a choice," Mark said after a while, his eyes landing on Alice's stone cold ones apologetically. "I really don't."

"You're going to fucking fuck things up for all of us. This shit is not fucking kosher!" Alice fumed as she tossed the pillow she was holding to the ground. "For starters, do you know if this Carmen chick is even gay? What if she's not? What then?"

"Oh, she's gay." Mark confirmed with a head nod, a cheesy smile adorning his face. "My buddy Gomie tried to take a slid into first base junior year, he wound up taking a knee to the nuts instead."

"That doesn't prove shit!" Alice chastised, Mark's arrogance pissing her off. "Gomie's an ugly ass pig. I'd knee him in the crotch too … and for a lesser offence than trying to steal a kiss … or first base as you like to call it."

"Can we knock it off with the baseball analogies, please," Shane asked, her head spinning trying to keep up with the lame sports double entendre's. "Are you sure Mark? Alice is kinda right, that don't prove shit."

"I'm sure." He said with a head nod, confident in what he was saying. "I've seen her at those Alliance things they hold on campus. Plus, besides the knee to Gomie's nuts, she kind of told him she dates chicks, not pricks with dicks. Her words, not mine."

-Not only is she hot, but she's feisty to boot. This chick has some serious moxy. I like that. I wonder what else about her I'm going to like.-

"Well, at least that points us in the right direction," Shane said with a slight smile, liking what she was hearing so far. "So, Mark, are you in? Yes or no?"

"Alright, let's do this." Mark said as he stepped forwards towards Shane, extending his hand out for his friend to slap. "I'm in.

"Alright!" Shane happily replied as she shook hands with Mark. Releasing her grasp on Mark's hand she slightly twisted her torso so that she could stare fully at Alice, "That's two to one. Alice?"

"Fine, all right. Fuck you." Alice said, finally acquiescing as she brushed her hair behind her ears. "I'm in."

"Then we're agreed." Shane said with a satisfactory smile, pushing her shaggy bangs out of her face. "We help the weasel who calls herself "Awesome Jenny" get a girl.

"I hope you guys know what the fuck you're doing." Alice said before getting up off of the couch and walking to her room. "This sounds awfully dumb."

"Do you want to go talk to the little freak, or shall I?" Mark asked as he sat next to Shane on the couch.

"It doesn't matter," Shane said half paying attention, her focus mainly directed at Alice's closed bedroom door.

"Why don't we both go," Mark offered as he followed Shane's line of sight. "Give Alice some time to wrap all this shit around her head. Plus, we probably should tell Jenny her "good" news sooner rather than later. Don't want her to do anything dumb."

"Yeah, sounds good." Shane said as she got up off of the couch, walking over to the front door.

***

"Hey, what cha doing?" Trisha asked Carmen as she sauntered out of her bedroom, a light pink shirt held up to her chest for inspection.

"Uh, working," Carmen said with a bemused smirk, a set of headphones resting around her neck as she looked up from the MacBook she was mixing some tracks on, shaking her head no at the shirt Trisha was asking approval on. "No, doesn't go well with your complexion."

Carelessly chucking the shirt onto the couch, Trisha plopped down onto a green lazyboy recliner adjacent of Carmen. "You need to get out girl. All you do is work."

"I do go out," Carmen replied, not looking up from her work as she adjusted the tremble on her last mix. "I go to …"

"And don't say those shitty Allie meetings." Trisha butted in with a snarl as she rolled her eyes skywards. "That's such a waste of your time. I mean, all they do is bitch and moan over that one chick like she's God's gift to this earth. Honestly! How in the hell can one single chick monopolize the whole entire group?"

"I don't know," Carmen said with a tight lipped smile as she looked up. "But that's not the only thing we talk about … However, you're not wrong though, her name does come up quite often."

"I know I'm not wrong." Trish replied, giving Carmen a self-appointed look. "For fucks sake, you'd think after a while they'd figure out that she's a player. And you'd think they'd hold a fucking back sale or something."

"A bake sale, seriously?" Carmen inquired, her right eyebrow raising high onto her forehead.

"What?" Trisha said, a cocky grin emerging on her face as she casually shrugged her shoulders. "Can't you guys put aside the bitching, yelling, and name calling for a few seconds to put some brownie mix into an oven? It ain't that hard."

"You're an ass," Carmen retorted as she reached up for her headphones, resting them on her ears.

"Whatever," Trisha huffed out as she stood up. Walking over to the coffee table Carmen's laptop was resting on; she lightly shook the table with her foot. "Yo, get up. Get dressed. We're going out."

"Trisha, I can't," Carmen replied as she repasisioned on of the earpieces, moving it so it rested on her jaw. "I really need to work on this. I'm spinning over at The Chance on Saturday."

"Fuck that," Trish said, shaking her head, not taking no for an answer. "You have plenty of time to finish this shit. Besides, I'm sure it kicks ass. Now, go put on a sexy outfit before I kick your ass."

Looking up at her friend hovering over her, the girls outfit consisting of 'Horney Devil' boxer shorts and a white tank top, her strawberry blonde hair swepted over one shoulder. "Is that what you're wearing?"

"Yes, cause this is what I wear out to all clubs." Trisha said dryly as she waved a hand over her outfit. "No dipshit. Come help me pick out a cute top because apparently you didn't like the pink one."

"Fine." Carmen huffed out as she saved her work, booted down her laptop and stood up. "Lead the way."

"Oh don't be like that Carmen," Trisha said as she produced a fake pout. "You know we always have a good time when we go out. And come on, I'll even be your wingman and help you get lucky." She grinned mischievously as she spun around, walking backwards into her bedroom.

"You think you're real smooth O'Neal, don't you." Carmen hollered after her friend, shaking her head in amusement.

***

With two knuckles, Shane wrapped steadily on the hard oak of "Awesome Jenny's" dorm door, her expression anything but jovial as she waited for the brunette to open up. Behind her, Mark impatiently paced back and forth, his expression just as somber as he wore a pattern down into the dingy grey hall carpet.

"Jenny, its Shane!" Shane grumbled loudly as she continued to knock on the door, her hand clenching into a fist as she pounded on the door with the side of her hand. "Open up!"

"Where the hell is she?" Mark asked in dismay as he stopped his pacing to watch Shane ferociously pound on the door, visibly making it shake. "Judge Judy is on in ten minutes."

Before Shane could respond to Mark's comment, a series of locks and chains could be heard being unlocked from the other side of the door. Lowering her hand from its poised position above her head, Shane took a step back as Jenny cracked the door open slightly.

"It's about time," Jenny said snidely as she stared up into Shane's harsh, unreadable green eyes. Squeezing her way between the small opening she created, Jenny stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. "What took you so long?"

"What took me so long?" Shane growled out in her smoky, monotone voice as her eyes narrowed on the short women. "You're the one that took forever to open the fucking door."

"I was writing." Jenny said flippantly as she leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossing in front of her. "So, have you made your decision?"

"Yeah," Shane voiced as she casted a glance over her shoulder at Mark. "We're gonna help you get the girl."

"Excellent," Jenny grinned as she unfolded her arms, her right hand reaching out to pat Shane none to gently on the cheek twice. "You made the right choice."

"Don't fucking touch me," Shane growled out, her voice even lower than normal as she yanked her head away from Jenny's prying touch.

"Shane, no need to be modest." Jenny replied with a smug smile as she brought her hand back to her side. "We're all gonna be good friends by the time this is over. Speaking of which, when am I getting Carmen?"

"We'll get back to you on that," Mark spoke up, taking a step forward to be side by side with Shane. "A mission like this will take a little time. Give us a few days to get everything sorted out."

Jenny squinted her eyes, casting a disbelieving look at the two scammers standing before her. "I don't believe you," she finally voiced.

Shane's jaw tensed, hard, her teeth clenching, and then relaxed. Her shoulders slumped as she took in a deep breath. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to quiet the noise of the bustling dorm building. "We're not jerking you around." She finally said after a few seconds, her eyes snapping open to stare at Jenny. "We like to run a smooth operation, and in order to do that we need to do a little recon on this girl, Carmen. All we need is a few days and then I'll be right back here with information for you."

"Fine," Jenny finally relented as she spun around, her right hand grasping the brass doorknob roughly. Opening the door slightly, making just enough room for her to sneak her body through, she looked back out into the hallway at Mark and Shane. "You have four days. If I don't hear anything by then your asses are as good as expelled." With that said, she slammed the door close, relocking all the locks she previously removed.

Placing her ear to the door, she listened as Shane and Mark bickered on the other side, the duo obviously upset about the confrontation that just took place. Raising her head, she closed her left eye as she used her right one to look through the peephole, watching as the scammers shuffled away back to their own dorm.

With a smug smile, Jenny stepped away from the door and headed to her desk, switching on the small red lamp. In the purposely kept dark room, the newly added light illuminated a shrine that Jenny had set up in the far right corner dedicated to Carmen, dozens of photos, dried flowers, and candles arranged around a television with a video cassette set to play on loop.

Opening the middle drawer of her desk, Jenny pushed aside a few sheets of paper in search of a cellophane bag, opening the ziplock seal once she safely held it in her hands. Gingerly reaching her hand inside the bag, Jenny carefully removed the stored collection of Carmen's hair, the strands carefully crafted to represent that of a doll. With an overwhelming desire, Jenny slowly brought the cluster of hair up to her nose, inhaling deeply, taking in the essence shrouded around the locks of hair.

"I've been watching you everywhere you go." Jenny whispered as she walked over to her Shrine, the hair doll grasped in her hand as she continuously sniffed it "Soon you're gonna be mine, aren't you?"

Kneeling down, so that she was eye level with her television, "I like you." She said as her eyes danced with admiration as she watched the video show a repeated image of Carmen walking across campus, a gleeful expression on her face as she laughed boisterously. "Who's that? That's the most beautiful girl in the world." Jenny spoke out loud, whether to herself or to the collection of hair in her hand was unknown. "Everything here, you touched it, baby."

Standing up, she walked over to the collection of candle she had scattered around her shrine. Flicking alight the flame on her bike lighter, she slowly started to light all the candles with her left hand. "We're gonna get married one day and have four little kiddies." She whispered as she slowly lit each candle, the flickering flame casting an eerie glow across her face. "And I'm gonna get a job at 'Hamilton, Crawford & Falck' ... and be so rich that you're gonna love me forever."

Setting the lighter back down, she took a few steps back from her master piece, admiring her handiwork. With a devilish smirk, she turned around and walked over to her bed, gently sitting down on her twin sized, dorm regulated bed. "And we're gonna have sex in my bedroom."


	8. Chapter 8

The three friends walk leisurely across the beautiful gothic **campus** in the direction of Bulldogs, the college's pizza/sub shop. As they ambled across the perfectly manicured lawn, the trio rambled through a numerous amount of strategies, setting out to find the best plan that would top all of their scams combined.

"I say we give her a little "When Harry Met Sally" action." Alice said as she strolled along the campus with her friends, her hands buried deep into her coat pockets.

**Alice bought into our little shenanigans the beginning of our sophomore year. Many people believe she marches to a beat of a different drummer … but that's not entirely true. Alice … Well, she's just crazy. I remember fondly the first time she pulled off a scheme; she did it completely on her own. And from that point forward I knew we were going to be great friends and even better manipulators of our GPA's******

**Looking back on it know, what she did was completely risky, yet so fucking awesome. She didn't necessarily cheat the test, quite the contrary. She did study her ass off and she did sit through the mandatory two hours. Her little con came towards the end of the extremely hard biology test.**

******I remember listening to her telling me later that afternoon, with much satisfaction on how she got one over on her Professor. The smile on her face when she came bursting through the door to our room is something I will never forget. Nether will I forget the story she proceeded to tell me... ******

**"I don't want you to worry about finishing the exam. No one ever does." Professor Nelson had said as he lent over the hard oak desk, his hands, palm flat on the smooth surface. "That's the way I designed it, so just finish writing whenever you … Time's up!" He had quickly yelled as he slammed his hands down on the table, startling a few students in the front row in the process. **

**Alice said she had looked up from the essay she was furiously writing at this point, made quick eye contact with the Professor and resumed to quickly write down as much information as possible. She then heard him call out "Okay, that's it. Time's up. Close your books, stop writing. Come forward with your papers immediately."******

**She knew that the statements where directed at her but didn't care. She had almost completed the last question of the test; an unanticipated essay, in which she only had one paragraph left and it would be complete. She was determined to ace this essay, after all she was an English major and this exam, and the final grade it provides could determine which classes she could get into the following semester.******

**"Everybody in the back. Everybody all the way in the back." Professor Nelson had then hollered, pointing a finger directly at her. "You. Yes, you in the red sweatshirt. Little Red Riding Hood." ******

**She looked up again when he had called her that, her red sweatshirt, hoodie pulled up over her head hiding her features did make her resemble the cult classic character. She said she had then ran the tips of her right fingers across the bottom of her throat, starting at the base of her neck and ending at her chin. According to her it was the Italian symbol for "go fuck yourself" which she had picked up from her mother when she was young. She knew that would push his buttons … like it often pushed her dad's. Professor Nelson was officially livid. ******

**"Congratulations." He had said, a cruel smirk adorning the corners of his lips. "You just got an "F." Come on up."******

**She said it was then that she got the idea to do what she did next. However, I wasn't so certain. From the beginning of her story I had the feeling she had this whole scheme carefully planned out. However, when it comes to Alice you can never be to certain. She's is the wildcard in our group after all. ****  
><strong>  
><strong>"There's always one in every crowd who doesn't believe me." Professor Nelson had then boasted to the crowd of students walking towards him to hand in their booklet. She then told me that Professor Nelson redirected his attention back to her, his anger still evident at her insolent behavior. "You can stop writing, ma'am. I don't care if you have the cure for cancer. It's fruitless. You will not pass.<strong>

******Satisfied that her test was finally complete, Alice had said she closed her book, removed the sunglasses resting on her desk, placed them on her face, and walked towards her professor with an air of cockiness she didn't know she had. ******

**She said as she slammed the test down on the table, a smirk on her own lips, the professor congratulated her for failing the test in a mocking tone. Laughing at his bluntness, she lowered her shades and stared right into the older man's pale grey eyes, humor in her own voice as she asked "Do you even know my name?"******

**"No, I don't know your name." Professor Nelson had then replied back mordantly as his head lightly shook from side to side. ******

**"No, you don't." Alice mimicked with a relieved chuckle, her left hand shooting forward and placing her test packet on the stack of already neatly stacked tests while her right hand started to mix that booklets together so Professor Nelson wouldn't be able to tell who's test was who's.******

**Before anyone could even contemplate stopping her, she tossed a handful of the booklets in the air and then dashed for the door, Professor Nelson shouting after her as she ran. ******

**"What's your name?" Professor Nelson had yelled as he watched her retreating form, in complete bewilderment at what just took place. "What's your name?!"******

**As she had recanted the story to me I couldn't help but burst out in laughter. Alice acting like a rebel at that point in time was something I never would have predicted. But since that day, I can't picture her any other way … tough, surly, and rude.**

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Shane inquired as she casted her eyes sideways, looking through a puff of smoke wafting out of her mouth, to stare at the blonde.

"Well, it's like this." Alice said simply, closing her eyes as the smoke blew into her face. "We make it so that Jenny gets in with her. They become friends … totally innocuous. Then, after a month or so, she tells Carmen that she loves her. Better yet, that she's "in" love with her."

"Good plan." Mark chirped, wagging his right index finger at Alice. "That might actually work."

"It most definitely fucking will!" Alice said boisterously, removing her hands from her pocket and flailing them around energetically. "Listen. Sure, she'll be freaked out at first, what with Jenny being such a fucking wack-job. But they're already friends at this point. And Jenny keeps working on Carmen. After a while, Carmen's going to be thinking to herself, "What am I fighting for? It's not so bad having someone tell me they love me all the time."

Pulling the cigarette from her mouth, Shane casts a disgusted look towards Alice.  
>"That's the dumbest fucking plan I've ever heard."<p>

"It's not dumb," Alice protested as she repositioned her hands back into her jacket pockets. "It's good."

"No, we're not doing that plan." Shane growled out as she brought the cigarette back to her lips, taking a long hard drag before flicking the butt of the cigarette away. "We need to do some research. We need to actually get to know our target somewhat before we just sick this psycho on her."

"What's so wrong with this plan, Shane?" Mark inquired. "It is minimal effort on our part and it gets the freak the girl … possibly. Either way, we did our part. We wipe our hands clean and we don't have to worry about shit until after graduation."

"Guy's we're a team," Shane said as she stopped walking, causing Alice and Mark to turn around and look at her. "Back me up here, huh. Let's just go with a different plan, okay."

"Just promise me this has nothing to do with the girl." Mark said as he cocked his head to the side, his jaw squared and unconsciously flexing the bruxism muscle.

"Hey, this has nothing to do with the girl." Shane said with a sly smile as her dark green, penetrating irises stared intently into her friend's eyes.

Mark and Alice shared a look, their foreheads crinkling as they digested Shane's words. "Don't you fuckin' "Seed of Doubt" us, man." They both simultaneously declared, their hands waving back and forth in front of Shane's face in disapproval.

**I'm not an evil, lying genius. I just happen to know a technique. I call it "The Seed of Doubt". My motto, "Say it, repeat it, believe it" it works all the time. I developed this my sophomore year of high school. ******

**Sixteen years old and already deep in shit … I never knew just how good I was at lying till I discovered the "Seed of Doubt" principle. It started this one day at the mall. I remember it very clearly because I was there with this magnificent piece of arm candy … I think her name might have been Paige. Never the less, she wasn't the one I needed to lie to. The person this technique was created for was the girl I happened to be dating at the time, Molly, who just happened to step out of a clothing store with two of her friends as I stood approximately twenty feet away. ******

**I knew she saw me because she had this look about her; it was a mixture between horror and heartbreak. Quickly spinning, I pivoted Paige in the opposite direction, pointing her away from Molly and her vastly paling complexion. I continued on with my date with Paige as if nothing had even happened, playing it cool and making a mental note to swing by Molly's place later on that night.******

**And I made good of my word, stopping by her house a little passed ten, making small talk with her parents before politely asking to speak with their daughter. Apparently they knew little of what happened, if anything at all, because they were more than eager to point me in the direction of their daughter's bedroom ... as if I didn't already know where it was. ******

**Without knocking, I brazenly walked into Molly's room, a mischievous glint in my eye as I notice straight away that she is on the verge of tears. Before I could say anything, she beat me to it.******

**"I saw you with that girl." She said threw hiccups, her face red and blotchy from hours of crying as she stared me down. "I saw you with your arm around her."******

**I know I must have looked guilty as hell. My hands were beginning to fidget nervously in front of me, as I dug dirt out from under my fingernails. I guess I didn't know what to say. And I know it sounds kind of stupid at first. But that's when I realized you never know what people are willing to believe until you look them straight in the eye and tell them a bald-faced lie.******

**Placing my hands in the front pockets of my torn, washed out jeans, I took a few steps closer to her. I tilted my head down and to the side, letting it hang low so that my chin is almost touching my chest as my hair dangled down across my glistening green eyes as I look up at her. "It wasn't me." I whispered out.******

**"What?" I remember Molly asking back in disbelief, her body completely shaking.******

**"It wasn't me." I had repeated as I took another step closer to her.******

**"What do you mean it wasn't you?" Molly had then asked me bitterly, her eyes ablaze in what I would only classify as pure hatred. "I saw you. I saw you with her."******

**"It wasn't me." I repeated to her for a third time as I lifted my head. As my hair swept back into its normal resting place, my scorching green eyes penetrated her more subdued green, instantly shifting something inside of her.******

**"You're trying to tell me, that I didn't see you this morning, at the mall, with some ugly slut?" Molly asked exasperated, truly not sure how to argue her point any further.**

******"It wasn't me." I said to her, dropping my voice low, making it even smokier than normal. "I don't know who or what you saw, but it wasn't me." I removed my right hand from where it was nestled in my pocket, brought it up to her face and gently brushed her hair back behind her ear in a loving gesture, letting my thumb linger on her skin longer than needed. "You know I'd never cheat on you, baby."******

**Molly tried desperately to shake off this incongruence, but it's too late: the seed of doubt has taken hold. She looked up at me... for a really long time. But I show her absolute confidence. For added emphasis, I take her hand in mine, and look straight into her red-rimmed eyes as I slowly start to lean into her. With the purest, most sincere face imaginable, I whisper to her before I capture her lips, "It wasn't me."**

**A lie repeated often enough creates a seed of doubt in people's minds. It helps if they want to believe you, but either way, people are afraid of confrontation. They'd rather ignore what's right in front of their own eyes and accept some bizarre, warped reality than call you a liar.**

Holding up her index fingers on both hands, pointing them skywards, "This has nothing... to do... with the girl." She repeated again, slower, her intoxicating green eyes still locked onto them.

Alice stared at her intensely, her right eyebrow corked high as she pondered Shane's statement. Finally relenting, breaking the intense eye contact with Shane, "Okay. I'll buy it."

**I don't know why I just did that. I guess I'm the "lie" to Alice's cheat and Mark's steal. I've always been kind of deceitful. People say I've got an honest face, but you tell someone that and you're just asking for trouble.**

"Thanks, Al." Shane said with a smirk as she threw an arm around Alice's shoulder, the duo resuming their walking towards the pizza shop. "I got a job for you, Al. You'll start tomorrow."

Turing her head over her right shoulder, Shane called out to Mark who was still standing put. "Mark, come on. I know you're still in."

"Fuck." Mark grumbled as he kicked an imaginary rock on the ground before turning around and sprinting towards his friends.

***

Ten minutes later, the three friends walk up to the grey counter inside Bulldog's pizza/sub shop. The man behind the counter, wearing the mandatory Khaki slacks, blue polo shirt and beige visor, was of average build and talked with a lisp. It's not an effeminate lisp either; it's the kind you get from jamming a chuck of metal through your tongue.

"Yeth?" The bleach blonde sub maker asked, a piece of his piercing sticking out between his teeth as he talked.

"Foot-long Italian combo with all the fixings, but hold the cheese." Mark rattled off to the worker as he read the board behind the counter. The sign consisted of three columns: breads, cheeses, and fixing's. For some reason, cheeses are not in the "fixing" column, but instead have been deemed worthy of their own column.

"No cheeth?" The young man asked a puzzled look on his face.

"No, hold the cheese." Mark replied haughtily, not understanding what was so hard about his order.

The platinum haired boy smiled broadly, the green top to his tongue piercing showing through his parted teeth. He savored the moment, then, with the pride that a college education just can't buy you, "If there's no cheeth, then how can it be all the fixins?"

Mark looked at him dumbfounded, aggravation clear on his face. He casts his glance at the sign, then back at the sub maker who was still smiling at him. He's about to say something, when Shane interrupts from behind him. "We also need two cheesesteaks with everything on them."

Placing her hands on Mark shoulder, she directs him away from the counter, pushing him towards the cashier where Alice was already waiting with their altered stamp cards.

With a tightlipped smirk, Alice handed over a stamp covered card to Shane and Mark each. Shane looked down at the card, taking in the flawless detail of the Bulldog shaped stamp that Alice applied to the cards a mere twenty minutes prior. Quickly running her thumb over the newly applied stamps, satisfied that it didn't smudge, she handed the forged card over to the cashier.

"How you kids get so many stamps?" The women asked skeptically as she stared at their cards, eight Bulldog shaped stamps adorning each one of their club cards.

"We eat a lot of subs." Shane said instinctively, offering the women a genuine smile.  
>The Cashier paused, looked at Shane's innocent face, and then finally accepted the cards.<p>

"Alright," she said as she printed out a recite with their order numbers on it. Handing over the recite, along with three new club cards, "You're sub should be ready soon."

"Thanks," Shane replied, giving the women a quirked smile before walking off to a table near the self-serve soda fountain.

At the table, Mark and Shane are deeply engrossed in an important conversation, their hands animatedly flailing about as they discussed a possible plan to carry out to get Carmen to fall for Jenny, while Alice halfheartedly paid attention. Out of the corner of her eye, Alice noticed the cute tennis played she's been crushing on over at the register, and turned to look at her.

"No, I'm telling you Shane, she'll never go for that!" Mark protested as he vigorously shook his head no. "Your plan is too obviously based on a lie."

"We'll fuck, Mark." Shane huffed out as she removed her pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of her jacket. Removing one of the sticks, she rolled it between her thumb and forefinger, the movement instantly soothing her. "This isn't really my forte. I'm use to making girls fall in love with me. Not making them fall in love with someone else. "

"Well you know what Shane, you're the one who got us into this fucking mess," Mark sneered as he glared at Shane. "And you're the one who fucking agreed to this shit."

Alice drifted even further away from the conversation as she basked in the beauty of the brunette standing only a few feet away from her. The woman stood at the counter, her left arm propped up against the countertop; the muscles in her arm, well defined, supported her weight while her right hand held onto a plastic container containing a salad. Continuing to stare, soaking in every ounce of the other woman's presence, Alice's breath caught in her throat when her eyes locked on the coco brown of the tennis players. Quickly looking away, a slight blush started to rise up her neck at having been caught ogling her crush by none other than the girl herself.

"You've got to go up to her and right off the bat establish it as a sexual relationship" Mark objected as he took a bite out of his sub. "All I'm saying is Jenny goes up to Carmen and compliments her on her body. Alice what do you think?"

"Uhmm?" Alice faltered, shaking her head as she snapped out of the little daze she was in. "I'm not sure."

"I guess. I don't know. Maybe," Shane said as she continued to fidget with her cigarette, desperate to light the stick and inhale its deep toxic chemicals.

Slowly turning her head, Alice looked back at the girl still standing at the counter and lightly smiled, the corner of her lips curling upwards. The brunette held eye contact for a few seconds but doesn't smile back. Instead, she took her sandwich, turned away, and walked out the door. As if she'd been punched in the stomach, Alice's smile gradually fades.

"You ever have that dream where we all get caught and we get expelled and our parents are there saying how much we disappointed them?" Alice suddenly asked as she turned back around in her chair, her voice sad and defeated.

Shane and Mark share a look, not knowing where Alice's question manifested from.

"Well, yeah." Mark spoke up, a playful smirk on his face as he looked at Alice's somber one. "But in my dream, the FBI shows up and recruits me to be an operative and I'm like doing some hot spy chick in Brazil, so like, you know, it's got a happy ending."

"I don't want to get kicked out of school, guys." Alice replied honestly, her voice laced with distress.

"We're not going to," Shane said, her head ducking down to make eye contact with Alice. "I swear, we're not."

"If we're really going to do this," Alice said, looking back up and right into Shane's hauntingly beautiful eyes, "we need to do it right. No goofing off. No slacking. And enough of this just talking shit. So, Shane, I want to know right now, what is your plan to get us through this shit?"

"Like I said early, I got a job for you to do tomorrow. Both of you," Shane recanted as she leant forward, her elbows resting on the table as she lifted the cigarette to her mouth, just the taste of the tobacco on her lips instantly soothing her nerves. "Look, I have a plan. But before we do anything, what we really need to do is a little research first."

"What kind of research?" Mark inquired as he leant back in his chair, his legs displayed out in front of him, crossed at the ankles.

"I'm going to pay our dear friend Carmen a visit tomorrow during class." Shane said, the cigarette dangling from her chapped lips as she spoke. "Alice I need you to find out where her she lives. Where she grew up. Childhood friends, allergies, likes and dislikes. The normal stuff. And Mark," she casted her eyes away from the sulking blonde to the dark haired male, "you up for a little recon?"

Mark shrugged his shoulders slowly, indifferently. "Why not."

"Good," Shane said, smiling around the cigarette. "It's settled."


End file.
